SIGNS THAT HE IS NOT
weeks of single girl sympathy, you finally agreed to let your cousin
set you up with that "great guy" she knows. Since you said yes, you
figure you might as well make the most of it and keep an open mind.
But, just in case, you ask your best friend to call your cell about
a half hour into the date so you can fake an emergency if needed.
Actually, it's not even faking. Bad dates are
emergencies. However, lucky for you, there are warning signs that
the person you are out with is, and always will be, a terrible date.
If you are unlucky enough to experience any of them first hand, make
sure to answer your friend's call saying, "Oh no! That's terrible!
I'll be right over."
This one is pretty basic. If a guy doesn't have enough enthusiasm
for the date to actually show up on time, you shouldn't expect to be
impressed by the rest of the night. Obviously, there are times when
you just can't help it, but he'd better have a good reason if he
shows up at your door even 15 minutes late.
He's Not Dressed to Impress
You've spent hours on your hair and a pile of rejected clothes
covers your bed. You are finally dressed to the nines in the perfect
outfit and ready for the evening. You open the door and are
surprised to be greeted by your date in torn jeans and a stained
t-shirt. You doubt he's washed his hair today (or yesterday). You
expected a nice night out and he shows up looking like he's dressed
for a monster truck rally.
He Takes you to a Monster Truck Rally
Original and unique first dates are a great way to stand out from
the rest of the fish in the sea, but there are exceptions. He should
at least do a little research into your style before he plans an
unusual activity. Sure, he might really love hot dogs and monster
trucks, but if you were thinking fine dining and theatre, there's
bound to be trouble.
The fact that he didn't bother to ask your opinion beforehand (or at
least get the matchmaker's thoughts on the plan) doesn't bode well
for how he's going to respect your needs and wants in the future.
You to Pay
It's not absolutely necessary that he pick up the check. Along with
all those useful freedoms like voting, the feminist movement also
brought us the responsibility of at least offering to pay for half
the date. Most guys still think it's chivalrous to pick up the tab
for the first date and there's nothing wrong with indulging his male
ego (after an appropriate amount of protesting of course).
No girl is expecting a man to drop a fortune on a first date, but a
guy who expects you to pay for everything without lifting a finger
to open his own wallet doesn't give off the impression that he cares
much what you think of him. In fact, he probably won't see a second
date (and maybe not even the end of the first one). A good rule of
thumb for payment is: whoever asks for the date, pays for the date.
He Talks About his Ex
So maybe you escaped the monster truck rally, but instead of choking
on exhaust fumes and standing in a sea of drunken mullets, you get
to hear all about his wonderful
horrible ex-girlfriend. Bonus trouble points if he had a nasty
breakup and insists on sharing the details with you.
If he refers to his ex even once with a derogatory insult that you
wouldn't call your worst enemy, run for the hills now. It's not a
good sign if he can't say anything nice about the last woman with
whom he had a significant relationship.
How Can I Put This.?
He's a Weirdo.
Yes, it's time to weed out those with personal quirks that you find
distasteful or generally unacceptable. This will be different for
every woman of course (some chicks really dig witchcraft, guys that
live with their moms or Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts).
Regardless, that tight knot that is forming in your stomach while
you listen to his ideas, habits and activities, should
vs. Awkward Hours
When he's not filling you in on his wacky life, the conversation
stalls into silence or unintelligible grunting. It's normal to have
a little awkwardness or difficulty getting conversation to flow in
the beginning of a first date, but if after a few minutes, he still
can't think of a single question to ask about your life or keep up
with the conversation, it's time to call it a night.
If it's twenty minutes in and you've run out of things to talk
about, you probably don't have much of a future together.