Women are complex
creatures, sometimes frustratingly so. There are times when we make
the men in our lives want to throw up their hands in defeat and say,
"I'll just never understand what women want!"
Don't give up hope. Sometimes the key to understanding your girl is
to read between the lines of what she's saying to discover what she
It's not entirely our fault that we have this round about way of
communicating. Boys are taught from a young age that asking for what
they want is the best way to get it, while girls are encouraged to
use our "feminine wiles" to maneuver our way into what our heart
It doesn't help that a straightforward persistent woman in our
society is often tagged with unfair labels like "bitch" or "ball
breaker". So instead of being direct, we sometimes take the long way
to getting to what we really mean. To help you understand, there are
certain things you can look for to help you decode the meaning
behind your girlfriend's words.
She Wants To Be Babied
"I had a really busy day" = "I need some pampering"
When your girl complains about her long hard day, there's a good
chance it's not just to get it off her chest. She wants you help her
relax, but instead of just asking you for a back massage, or to run
her a hot bath, she feigns helplessness so you'll be able to sweep
in as her man and fix everything for her.
It's hard for a modern feminist woman to ask for help from her man.
We all want to believe we can take care of ourselves, but there are
times when we just want to be coddled a little bit. So, instead of
being annoyed by her whining, do the smart thing and ask her what
she needs to unwind. Trust me, you'll reap the rewards later.
It's Time to Talk
"I don't feel like talking" = "I really NEED to talk"
You can tell something is bothering your girl, but when you ask she
says nothing is wrong. Don't be fooled, she really does need to
talk. She just wants you to press her a little. If you insist on
asking what's wrong it convinces her that you really want to hear
about her problems and help resolve them.
Try to encourage her to open up without nagging. Instead, let her
know that you are concerned and open to listening. She really does
want to tell you about the fight she had with her best friend or how
much getting passed over for that promotion at work upset her, but
unless you show genuine interest, she'll probably keep it bottled
The only time this translation may not be accurate is when she's
upset about something you
did. In this case, she may really need some space and time to think
before she confronts you with it.
"I'm not jealous" = "I need reassurance"
You've just run into your ex-girlfriend while walking down the
street with your current one. You can tell that the unexpected
meeting has your girl frazzled, but she insists she's not
What NOT to do in
this situation is accuse her of being mistrustful or joke about how
cute she is when she's jealous. The right thing to do here is to
reassure her of your love and devotion without being too obvious
about it. Try something like, "Wow, seeing Suzy again just makes me
realize how perfect you and I are together."
She Wants to Get
"So are we like together?" = "I want a commitment"
Stereotypically, guys are all commitment phoebes while their girls
are fervently awaiting him dropping to one knee in the perfect
moment of romantic dedication. This may not be universally true, but
there's a good chance she's looking toward the next stage in your
relationship before you've even entertained the concept.
Not wanting to come on too fast or too strong, she'll probably be
fairly hesitant to come right out and say she'd like to be your
girlfriend or that she thinks that it's time you moved in together.
Make it easy on her by being honest and clear about your feelings
and intentions. If you're not quite ready to pledge monogamy, say
so, but tell her that you think it's a big step, something you don't
want to take lightly.
Ask for some time to think about it. Never make a commitment that
you're not willing to follow through on. If you're not done playing
the field, don't give the impression that you are. It will only lead