As long as there have been men and women and as long as they have been dating, we have been engaged in this debate: When you are in a monogamous relationship, what constitutes cheating? Where do you draw that line? And is there a gray area?

There was a time when cheating had a simple definition; like the kind of the Scarlet Letter. But nowadays, both men and women are more complex and less tolerant of betrayal of any sort in a committed relationship. And when it comes to men and women, we probably differ vastly when it comes to what we perceive as cheating.

So, off come the gloves here are seven relationship traps that you may or may not define as infidelity. It's up to you to decide

Confiding in a Friend of the Opposite Sex

Most guys would probably say no way is this cheating. They may understand that their girlfriends are delicate, emotional creatures that need to talk things out to death. And better with some other poor guy than with himself, right?

But, many women actually feel threatened by their man confiding in friend of the opposite sex. Connecting with another woman on an emotional level can be even worse than connecting on a sexual level. What do you need to say to this other woman that you cannot share with your girlfriend? It has been called emotional cheating and it can be more hurtful than one night of torrid, drunken sex with an anonymous woman from the bar.

Dancing Closely

In many cultures, dancing is considered a very sensual act. That's why so many people probably think dance clubs are a great place to pickup.

This is one that most guys and girls can see eye to eye on. If you are at a nightclub, grinding sexually with someone other than your significant other, there is bound to be trouble.


Flirting is such a natural act between men and women. Most confident individuals, in a secure and comfortable relationship don't mind their man/woman joking around or engaging in a little innocent flirting. Admit it, you probably do it all the time.

But if the conversations are sexual and the flirting is with the intent of eventually "getting some," then you have definitely crossed the line.

Going to Strip Clubs

There are some people who think that going to a strip club in and of itself constitutes cheating. But there are those who are more accepting and will allow their partner to enjoy a guys or girls night out at the rippers.

The problem arises when your committed boyfriend/girlfriend pays to touch a stripper. If you have to go to a strip joint to touch another person sexually, then there's a problem with the relationship. I think it is cheating, no doubt... Then again, I'm a woman.

Cyber Sex

Getting on the Internet and engaging in cyber sex ranks high on the cheating scale in pretty much everyone's book. It is hurtful to know that your partner is so unsatisfied sexually with you that he/she needs to talk dirty to a computer screen to get off. What's the point of talking to a blank, inhuman face when you can have the real thing right at home?

But then again, is there a direct correlation between your sex life and the desire to have cyber sex?

Watching Porn

Although it might be upsetting to know that your significant other has a fetish for watching pornographic movies, many of us would not consider it cheating. Women know that men enjoy watching porn and that it is an act that is completely separate from the relationship. There is no live "other woman" threatening the relationship. It is merely a sexual fantasy or maybe a way for men to learn hot moves for you in the bedroom.

Engaging in a Sexual Act

If I have to debate this one for you, you're a lost cause. All of us who aren't in one of those trendy "open relationships" consider kissing, caressing, licking, or having sex with another person cheating.

This is one you can't argue your way out of. It is the ultimate act of infidelity and a sure way to end your monogamous relationship.