SIGNS OF A BAD DATE
Dating is expensive. Its not just the money - its the time spent grooming and the investment of all that emotional energy in hoping he is great and wondering what will happen. And there is the opportunity cost! Time spent with one guy is time you canít spend with someone better!
No, your time, money, and beauty products are too valuable to waste on a guy not worth the nail polish you removed in order to match your fingers to your toes.
Itís crucial to develop a sensitive radar that can detect the subtle red flag moments that tell you, This guy is not worth shaving my legs for. There are some of the obvious things - he lives with his parents when heís over the age of 30, his socks donít match, he talks about his ex all the time, heís had no relationships that lasted longer than a year, heís totally self-absorbed, etc. But there are some subtler cues I have learned to recognize over my years of dating fiascos that I will share with you. I hope my bad dates will help you avoid some of your own.
10. When youíre on a date, he talks trash about an ex. It doesnít matter how much of a bitch she was, good men accept at least some responsibility for every break up and they speak respectfully about other people, no matter what. (Incidentally, check yourself for this one.)
9. He talks trash about his mom. A guy who doesnít have some respect for his mom, even if she left him on a doorstep, wonít really respect for you. Bad date!
8. He moves in for the kiss way too soon. If he canít tell that youíre not interested in all that yet, he will never be able to tell what youíre interested in.
7. He never moves in for the kiss. If you are ready, willing, and able, and he isnít reading the signals, heíll never be able to read the signals.
6. His place is a mess the first time you come over. Youíd clean up your place before he came over - you had at least stuff all that random crap in the closet and jimmy the door shut. If he couldnít put in the effort to clean up a little, what effort will he ever put in?
5. He canít cook. Itís a well known fact that men who cook are better in bed, they are more sensual, more responsive, more attentive, and know how to do one thing with their hands while they do something else with their mouths.
4. He has a habit or a personal style - for example, answering the question, How was your day? with a blow-by-blow description of everything he did every hour from the moment he woke up until the moment you asked him how his day was and you catch yourself thinking, But that can change. No it canít. It wonít change on itís own, he canít change it, it wonít change. People donít change, they just learn to deal with the problems they have.
3. He has no kids, no pets, no fish, not even any plants. If the only thing that lives in his place other than him is the mold in the back of his fridge, heís a nonstarter. A guy who canít even commit to keeping a spider plant alive does not have what it takes to keep a relationship alive.
2. Heís over 40 and heís never been in a committed relationship. If he hasnít done it by then, he never will. Heís had about 20 years to meet the right girl; by now, itís not the girls. Itís him. It doesnít matter how great you are, heíll never commit because he just does not know how. So why should you?
1. Heís talking about a past relationship and you catch yourself thinking, As long as he does not do it to me He will do it to you. No matter how crazy he says the other girl was, no matter how much better you are being a loving, accepting girlfriend. He will. Can you cope with that? If not, ditch him now.
Good men are out there, ladies. I firmly believe that. Donít let the nonsense of the unfit stand between you and a man who can stand on his own two feet, keep a plant alive, clean his apartment, and kiss you right when you want to be kissed!